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September '04
 9/9 7:35am: I’m in to the routine of teaching yoga on a regular basis here in New
England. I’m a regular at 4 studios within 45 minutes or so of where I’m living.
I teach in Northampton (where I was introduced to Bikram Yoga), my buddy Will’s
(and Rose’s!) brand new studio in Amherst, Glastonbury and Auburn. Teaching a
series that is exactly the same every day 2-3 times a day can be very challenging.
It’s really no different than gigging on a regular basis. “The show must go on!”
as they say in the business. To find the focus and energy to show up for people
no matter what you’re personal circumstances are is what being in service is all
about. At the same time, there’s balance in making sure you’re taking care of
yourself. When you give so much of yourself that you’re depleting the reserves,
that doesn’t work for anybody.
I have to say, my life has become much simpler since I’ve stopped dating women
who for what ever reason need to “take”. Lots of people are cursed with childhoods
that are less than perfect. I never realized just how many really screwed up
families there are. Sure every family has got funk, but there’s funk and then
there’s Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Abandonment, Alcoholism, Drug
Abuse and just plain ol’ being a really shitty parent! People aren’t perfect,
but if you’re going to have kids, at least be dedicated to being a loving compassionate
parent. Everything else will come under “lessons learned”, but to have a child
and then dedicate yourself to being a complete shit as a parent makes no sense
at all. Chances are you may spawn a beautiful, intelligent child with all the
gifts to excel and really make a difference in the world and because you have
turned them into a mess, the world will be robbed of their excellence... and
I will end up dating them!
The truth is, many wonderful people find their way out of these nightmarish foundations,
but only the ones willing to do the work... and hard work it is. If you choose
to have children, protect them from harm. They deserve that first and foremost.
Besides I’m out of the business of trying to fix the mess you’ve made. Strong,
healthy friends and partners make for a much simpler life.
9/11 11:47pm: The New York Mets just ended an 11 game losing streak with a win last night. Fact is, I stopped
paying close attention weeks ago. It’s too upsetting. This was a rebuilding
season and for a good chunk of it they were in the mix. There are some bright
spots, but for the most part there is an over-all something pathetic happening
with this club that I don’t care to even ponder, much less write about. Two words:
Rebuilding Year. I was saying, “Wait ‘til next year!” before this season even
started. Sadly enough, my brother and I (and most die-hard Baseball fans I believe)
find that the quality of our lives... each day seems a bit more... the sun shines
a bit brighter/the birds sing a bit sweeter... everything just seems to be clicking...
when the Mets are playing good ball! If you think I’m kidding... I’m not!
Being a Met fan, I can tell you one thing I’m sure of: The Yankees SUCK! I
have always been a Red Sox fan. Growing up in New England, I was a Knicks, Rangers,
Giants, Mets fan, but the Red Sox were my favorite American League team. (I always
hated the Celtics. I know Havlicek was great, but he looked like he should be
wearing dark socks! I was a "Clyde" and "The Pearl" kinda' kid!) Now, keep in
mind that when there is any chance of competition between the Mets and Red Sox,
I’m all Mets all the time. 1986 was the most Amazin’ thing I have ever seen and
to this day I have yet to request anything from God above. He/She has taken care
of me already in this lifetime. Just breathing is acceptable post Game 6, 1986!
Here’s the bottom line: The Yankees must be stopped. They are the “Evil Empire”!
The Red Sox must “Cowboy Up” and make this the year. The Mets are a mess, but
I still believe. We must join forces in our hatred of the Yankees, (I like a
few of the players; despise the organization), and find a way to defeat them.
They are everything that’s wrong with the world! I’ve got to calm down...
9/24 1:43pm: Car problems. My car has been outstanding and I am a HUGE Subaru fan.
We’re at 108,000 miles and it’s time to rejuvenate by way of depleting my every
penny of savings! Brakes: $900 and this last one started out as a “lifter noise”.
(Just an inconvenience. What the fuck is a lifter?) It then mutated into a possible
loose bolt. ($150 or so depending on how tough it is to reach.) It then blossomed
into a cracked “Flex Plate”! (What the fuck is a “Flex Plate”, and if it’s so
fuckin’ flexible, why did it crack!!!) $700 later I’m out the cash I started
saving to purchase a new piano. The piano I sold to raise cash to get down to
Florida. I’m tired of this endless cycle of dedicating resources to a life that
is not very forthcoming with the cash flow.
Fact is, life’s working pretty well for the first time in years, and I’ve got
a solid plan to create income, make music and teach/practice Bikram Yoga... all
over the world. This is the first time I’ve ever been able to make a living in
Western Mass. I did fine in LA and NYC was always good to me, but this is a tough
crowd! Being here is quite temporary, and as soon as it gets too cold, I’m headed
to Florida or LA, but at the moment life is good, car problems or not. I’m going
to enjoy the last days of being without!
Savings is over-rated anyway! As the great Leah Kunkel said to me recently: “If you want to know what God thinks about money, just
look at the people he gives it to!”
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