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January '05
 1/29
10:26pm: I’ve been meaning to write a bit in this here journal, but
I’ve been very busy and really enjoying those good ol’ “winter
blues”! This time of year it seems I put all my energy into just
keeping myself functional. Funny, I was fine last year spending 7
months in Florida. It’s not the cold, although at the moment
every time the temperature gets to 22F degrees, it feels like I’m in
the Bahamas! The lack of sunshine is what does me in. I
was down in Florida for 2 week in December, teaching and visiting
family & friends. My timing was off. I hit 2 weeks of
little to no sun, so I didn’t get my “battery” charged. I’m
heading down for a few days this coming month and then I’m planning a
trip to LA for business so I should see the sun a bit. I’m very
fortunate I can be so well traveled. No Wife. No
kids. No mortgage. No dog. Almost had a wife, who
acted like a kid. Used to pay a mortgage, and I still miss the
dog! Oh, well! At least I travel a lot now!
I’ve spent this past month putting together the equipment and computer
to be able to finish the album we started 2 years ago. It’s a
slow process without the big bucks, but you just keep putting one foot
in front of the other. They used to call it faith. We’ve
been playing a bit more thanks to Mark Applegate’s perseverance.
One foot in front of the other...
My real focus at the moment is an online business venture that centers
around Bikram Yoga and my teaching. At the same time I hope this
will incorporate and finance Good Puddin’. It’s all very exciting
and more importantly nothing I ever would have dreamed. Life is
pretty amazing! Three years ago my heart was a broken mess and
that sadness brought me to the Bikram Yoga series. I need to
immerse myself in something all consuming. Some folks choose
drugs, booze or sex. I have always chosen food and
exercise. At the time I was convinced by first hand experience,
that integrity and
excellence was for fools and idiots. I think I was actually
broken. I was with a partner who was broken and instead of
picking herself up, it was easier to bring me down. The fact is,
I played along with her the whole way. I knew she was wonderful
but I knew she was a mess and had some very real childhood stuff to
work out. I just thought we'd do it together. You can lead
a horse to water... I watched the girl I loved run off with her
boss (22
years her senior and a quite a mess himself). We had built a very
sweet life
together and then it disappeared in a “New York Minute”. I
remember coming down each day as I was packing to leave the house and
seeing the dog. I couldn’t believe I’d never see the dog
again. It didn’t seem possible. I couldn’t believe any of
it was happening, but I’ve come to understand that some people are hell
bent on creating a mess. If that’s what they knew as a child,
then that’s what they crave as an adult. I have undying amounts
of compassion for these people. They just need to stay far away
from me. As my buddy Aaron Ferguson and I used to say during BYCI
Teacher Training, “Get in the hot room!”
Some how all this madness brought me to this yoga. Somehow
it has
fixed so much in my life. Somehow it cleared all the crap and
bullshit away and left me with me. Possibly, a me I never knew
existed. Either way I’m eternally grateful to “the Boss” and
to all the wonderful people I teach and practice with all over the
world.
The next woman I get involved with will know the difference between a locked
knee and a bent knee. It's so simple...
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